Posted: 9/11/2014

Surviving Suicide

by Susan Ripley, MA CWLC-S; Director of Licensing   

After a suicide or suicide attempt, there are many emotions that affect those that survive. There are the stages of grief we move through, and it can sometimes take quite a bit of time to move through a stage.  I’ve heard comments full of regret such as “If only I’d known he was so sad” or “I wish I had known...I would’ve tried to help,” as well as comments full of anger such as, “That’s such a selfish act,” or “How could he do that to the people who loved him?”  Unless you understand the absolute despair that leads to the moment of an attempted or completed suicide, you will probably struggle with understanding the “why."

The Alliance for Hope organization shares this important message:

It is important to know that people can and do survive loss by suicide.  They are forever altered and may never stop missing their loved ones, but they do survive and go on to lead meaningful and contributory lives.

Help After a Loved One's Suicide

There are emotional, mental and even financial repercussions that arise in the wake of a suicide. It can be very difficult for survivors to endure the emotional impact while also trying to handle personal matters/business for the deceased. The key to surviving a suicide is to finding supports that are available to help you through this time.

• Make a plan for your loved one's personal property that needs to be taken care of
• Accept other family and friends' offers to assist
• Reach out to one of many resources for survivors, including:
  • Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors
  • Friends for Survival
  • HEARTBEAT: Grief Support Following Suicide
  • Parents of Suicides and Friends & Families of Suicices (POS-FFOS)
  • Surviving a Suicide Loss - A Financial Guide
  • Support After Suicide

It’s important to remember as a survivor of a suicide, that it is normal to suffer with your own depression, sadness and maybe even loneliness for some time.  It is imperative that you take care of your own mental health needs by receiving the support needed.  

Risks of Glamorizing Suicide

When reaching out to others about your loss (as you should), it is very important to keep in mind that you do not want to inadvertently glamorize suicide, thus putting others at risk.  There are many people suffering from their own despair, and using social media or other public sources to share your opinions could affect the decision someone else may be making about their own situation. Use caution and discernment when posting to social media, discussing your loss with media outlets, etc. 

In an article from the National Institute of Mental Health, some important points are made on the discussion surrounding/media coverage of a suicide and possible affects, including:

• More than 50 research studies worldwide have found that certain types of news coverage can increase the likelihood of suicide in vulnerable individuals. The magnitude of the increase is related to the amount, duration and prominence of coverage.
• Risk of additional suicides increases when the story explicitly describes the suicide method, uses dramatic/graphic headlines or images, and repeated/extensive coverage sensationalizes or glamorizes a death.
• Covering suicide carefully, even briefly, can change public misperceptions and correct myths, which can encourage those who are vulnerable or at risk to seek help.